I had a dream. . . about my little girls.

I have some interesting dreams.  Usually funny - never scary - but most of them I don't remember.   However last Friday morning I woke up at at about 4:25 am from a dream that I wanted to record because the feelings and emotions were sooo strong.

The last thing I did before I went to bed the night before was to comment on Angie’s blog update about me because it was my birthday.   It was really sweet.  I loved it.  

In my dream Angie and Mike and Brylie and Tyken and Erika had called and they were singing to me over the phone from Hawaii.   That makes sense because it was my birthday and they are in Hawaii.   Then this is when the dream got interesting.    Mom and I were on our bed in our Brentwood house listening on a speakerphone.  Candi and Jenelle were there but it was different.   The ages weren't quite right.  Candi was a young girl and Jenelle was a baby.

(Something like this picture - but this is Erika not Jenelle)

Then I looked in our closet (you girls will remember where it was at the foot of the bed) and in there was another little child playing quietly in a baby seat.  I asked who the other child was because in my dream we only had 2 kids but they all  looked so much alike.   I asked mom who it was and commented on how much they looked alike,  But she just looked at me like I was joking.   Then I recognized her as a little Angie.  I thought it was strange because Angie was on the phone singing with her family and Erika.  But then you know how dreams can change scenes with no apparent reason.

Now the little Angie was moving around and getting on our bed from my side.   It was so clear with details.  The bedroom and bed in our brentwood house and even how Angie crawled onto the bed.    Now Candi and Angie were holding the baby.  But now the baby wasn’t Jenelle but Alana.

(Total recall? Could my subconscience have remembered this moment and recreated it in my dream?)

Now we had Alana, Angie and Candi on the bed with mom and I and we were all laughing and giggling together on our bed.   

(this was taken on our bed in the Brentwood house)

Then I woke up and was quite emotional.  I guess it was Angie’s post right before I went to bed that stirred this whole thing up.  After I woke up I laid in bed for a while thinking about all of my little girls and I got a bit teary - ok - I admit - a lot teary (like I tend to do).

I had this very happy yet sad feeling.   It was happy like the Carpenter song says "Those were such happy days and oh so long ago" - we were laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

But at the same time it was sad for me because I miss those little girls.  I miss their little voices, their antics and giggles.  I miss the dress ups and imagining and princesses.   I miss being able to hold them in my arms and carrying them to bed. I miss them wanting to hold my hand when we are walking.   I miss being their "boyfriend"and being called "daddy".

But its all good.   I have such good memories of our young family and for that I'm grateful.

And even though I miss those little girls as much as I do,  I love even more the young women that they have grown into.

I am such a lucky guy.   What a privilege it is to be their dad.    I'd like to think that I have a special bond with each of them.   They have been my biggest fans (and my worst critics).   They all have their way of making fun of me.   They laugh at me when I’m not trying to be funny and occasionally laugh at me when I am trying to be funny (usually not because they think I was funny but they think its funny that I think I was funny).    Sometimes I think they are deaf because I will say what I think is the the most clever and funniest thing ever and its dead silence.    I think that they must not of heard me because it they did they would be laughing. . . . so I repeat myself.   Then I get stabbed with the “we heard you the first time” response.   Sometime a “it wasn’t funny then and it still isn’t funny” will be added on.   Judy is also guilty of this one.

But I’m glad that we can joke about things like that.  

I have wonderful memories of them running around the Brentwood house, our family trips in the big white van and the brown van before that.

 (We must have been a spectacle to see when we went out in public with all six girls - especially when they stood in order of age.)

The countless trips to Utah

(My loving family showing their concern after I almost fell over a cliff)

The Church history trip was quite memorable (the continental breakfast at the hotel followed by the long days of driving and the "what do you mean you're hungry?  You just ate - it was only 8 hours ago - I told you to put a bagel in your pocket").

Hawaii was the best.   Having all of my girls in the temple together for baptisms was definitely a highlight for me.

But it doesn’t really matter what we do,  I just like being together with my family.   I hope that we can make many more great memories so that in 30 years I can wake up from a dream and remember the girls at this age.  And the grandchildren that we already have and the (hopefully) many more to come.

I love my family and I’m so grateful for each of them.   I’m so grateful for great times and even the not so great times we’ve shared together.   I’m grateful that we can get together and enjoy each other’s company.   I’m grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the atonement and plan that will allow us to be together forever.

I love you all.

By the way, I do know my daughter’s names even though I rarely call them by the right name.   I often go through at least 2 of 3 before I get the right one.   Candice, Angela, Alana, Erika, Jamie and Jenelle.